A growing but often hidden crisis of domestic violence is affecting the Nepali community in the United States, driven by fear of social stigma, lack of awareness, and immigration-related anxieties, according to advocate Dr. Bishnumaya Pariyar.
In an interview, Pariyar, who has long worked with survivors of domestic and sexual violence, said many victims remain silent due to concerns about family reputation and possible legal consequences for abusers, allowing the problem to worsen.
“Silence within the community is making the issue more complex,” she said.
Pariyar described domestic violence in the Nepali diaspora as multifaceted, extending beyond physical abuse to include psychological, economic, and sexual violence. She estimated that more than 10 deaths this year alone may be linked to domestic violence cases within the community.
Economic control has emerged as a particularly troubling trend. In many cases, victims—both women and men—are forced to hand over their earnings or are denied access to their own finances. Some are coerced into signing legal or financial documents they do not understand due to language barriers.
In one case, a woman unknowingly became liable for more than $100,000 in unpaid taxes after her husband opened a business in her name and failed to report income. Her bank account was later frozen by the Internal Revenue Service.
Pariyar said immigration-related power dynamics further complicate abuse. Sponsors or spouses often threaten victims with withholding legal status or documentation, telling them, “I won’t process your papers,” to maintain control.
Fear of deportation also discourages victims from seeking help, even though protections exist. “Victims should not be afraid,” Pariyar said, noting that survivors of violence may qualify for protections such as U visas, regardless of their immigration status.
Mental health challenges are also intensifying, she said, as victims endure abuse in silence. Within the South Asian and Nepali communities, stigma around counseling and mental health care discourages individuals from seeking support.
“People may appear happy on social media, but internally they are suffering,” Pariyar said. She linked the pressure to maintain social image with rising cases of suicide and emotional distress.
Community responses can sometimes exacerbate the problem. Pariyar criticized a tendency to blame victims or even celebrate perpetrators socially, which reinforces harmful behavior.
Legal and linguistic barriers further limit access to justice. Many victims are unaware that courts provide language assistance or that free legal services are available for low-income individuals.
Pariyar also highlighted how caste and gender inequalities from Nepal persist in diaspora settings, complicating abuse cases. She cited an incident in Massachusetts where a Dalit man faced abuse from a higher-caste partner and was later arrested after attempting to defend himself. He was initially placed on probation and faced deportation before legal intervention prevented his removal.
Experts emphasize the importance of recognizing early warning signs of abuse, including verbal threats, financial control, and property destruction, before violence escalates. Pariyar urged victims to seek help early, noting that confidential and free services are widely available.
In emergency situations, she advised calling 911. For others, community organizations and shelters can provide relocation, counseling, and legal referrals. In some cases, victims have been safely moved to different states to escape abusive environments.
Pariyar stressed that even individuals with uncertain or undocumented immigration status have legal options. Survivors married to U.S. residents or citizens may also be eligible to self-petition for legal status under provisions such as the Violence Against Women Act.
She urged victims to safeguard important documents, including marriage certificates and photos, which can support their legal claims.
Despite the challenges, Pariyar noted signs of progress, with more individuals beginning to seek help as awareness grows.
She called on the Nepali community to shift its approach by supporting victims rather than protecting abusers.
“If we know someone is in trouble, we should connect them to resources,” she said.
In a recent case, community members raised funds through an online campaign to support a survivor who left an abusive relationship, enabling her to avoid entering a shelter and rebuild her life independently.
“People must speak up when they face injustice,” Pariyar said.
Kishor Panthi
View More PostsKishor Panthi is the founder and editor-in-chief of Khasokhas and NepYork. He is the author of three books, “Kampan,” "UNTRANSLATABLE" and “Zero Mile.” He writes about social issues, immigration, and politics.
