Six Girls Participate in Symbolic “Ihi” Marriage Ceremony in New York, a Unique Tradition of Nepal’s Newar Community

Newa: Nakha: New York recently hosted its ninth collective “Ihi” ceremony, a traditional Newar ritual, in Jackson Heights, New York. This event, aimed at preserving Newar culture, traditions, and language in the United States, brought together six young girls from New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, and Ohio to participate in this significant and symbolic marriage ceremony within the Newar community. The participating girls were Luniva Shrestha, Gresh Pradhan, Jiyana Tuladhar, Melanie Tuladhar, Leela Shrestha, and Ananya Pradhan.

The “Ihi” ceremony, also known as “Ehee” in Nepal Bhasa, is a sacred pre-pubertal ritual in the Newar community. During the ceremony, girls, typically aged 5, 7, 9, or 11, are ceremonially “bound” to a symbol of either the Hindu deity Vishnu or the Buddha. Often mistakenly referred to as a marriage to the wood apple fruit, the Ihi is, at its core, a traditional Hindu marriage ceremony where the girl is married to a golden statue of Lord Vishnu, known as Suvarna Kumar, with the wood apple fruit (bel) serving as a witness.

The bel fruit, which has the unique quality of remaining fresh and not rotting, is sometimes considered a representation of a divine male or an incarnation of a god. This two-day ritual involves all traditional Hindu marriage ceremonies, ensuring that these rituals need not be repeated when the girl marries a human spouse later in life.

The “Ihi” ensures that a Newar girl is never considered a widow, even if her human husband dies, as she remains symbolically married to Vishnu, a living deity. This practice also provides psychological solace to unmarried Newar women, who can consider themselves married to Suvarna Kumar. Additionally, it historically served to circumvent the practice of Sati Pratha, where widows were expected to self-immolate on their husband’s funeral pyre.

The Ihi is considered a true marriage, as the girl is symbolically handed over to a divine entity. The literal meaning of Ihi is marriage. After the Ihi with Suvarna Kumar, a Newar girl’s marriage to a human is seen as a social contract rather than a primary ritual, granting traditional freedom for remarriage. The Newar-Nepali-English Dictionary published by the Nepal Academy defines Ihi as a marriage performed to ensure a girl does not have to live as a widow.

The Ihi is typically conducted on auspicious days like Akshaya Tritiya, Shree Panchami, or Bibaha Panchami, which do not require astrological consultation, though it can be performed at other times based on auspicious timings. While the ritual generally spans two days, in some places, it is completed in a single day, with variations in practices depending on location and community. The Ihi is one of the most significant of the ten Newar sacraments (dasakarma), distinct from the sixteen sacraments of mainstream Hinduism, blending Hindu and Buddhist traditions. Notably, Newar girls who have undergone Ihi are permitted to wear sindoor (vermilion) in their hair parting, a practice typically reserved for married women, even if they remain unmarried.

A legend attributes the Ihi’s origin to Goddess Parvati, who, inspired by the Swasthani Vrat, sought eternal marital bliss for her kin. Lord Shiva granted her wish, decreeing that girls married to Suvarna Kumar before puberty would remain eternally blessed. Since then, Newars in the Nepal Mandala have followed this tradition, using the bel fruit as a witness to the marriage with Suvarna Kumar, leading to the term “Bel Bibaha,” though some scholars clarify that Ihi is not merely a marriage to the bel fruit.

During the New York event, Mahendra Bir Bajracharya, former president of Newa: Nakha: New York, highlighted the organization’s mission, stating, “Since its establishment in 2011, Newa: Nakha: has been dedicated to preserving Newar traditions, rituals, and language in the U.S.”

The ceremony was meticulously organized, with Dr. Naresh Man Shakya, the organization’s president, explaining the significance of the materials used in the Ihi ritual, such as sacred threads, betel nuts, and turmeric, and their cultural importance.

The Ihi ritual varies among Newar sub-castes and locations, with differences even within the Kathmandu Valley. In diaspora settings like New York, modern influences have further shaped collective Ihi ceremonies. The two-day process begins with Duso-Dhusah (preliminary rituals), including cleansing the house, worshipping deities like Ganesha and Kuldevata, and trimming the girl’s nails, which are collected by her aunt. The girls’ feet are adorned with red dye (alaa), and a mandap is prepared with sacred items.

The second day involves dressing the girls as brides, applying sindoor, and performing the kanyadaan to Suvarna Kumar, with the bel fruit as a witness. The girls are taught household tasks like grinding on a silauto or pounding rice, symbolizing preparation for domestic life. The ceremony concludes with communal feasting and blessings.

Parents at the event expressed excitement and pride in performing this ritual abroad, noting its nostalgic connection to their homeland. The event saw active participation from Newa: Nakha: New York’s members, who managed rituals, hospitality, and traditional Newar cuisine, fostering community pride. Dr. Shakya wished the girls a bright future and expressed pride in upholding Newar traditions abroad.